Funny: The Recession Has Hit Everybody Really Hard…

From a random email I received:

  • My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
  • Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
  • CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
  • Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
  • A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
  • I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
  • If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
  • McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
  • Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
  • Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
  • My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
  • A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
  • A picture is now only worth 200 words.
  • When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
  • The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally….

  • I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Response Time of Social Security Administrations

Yay, I now have data to compare the responsiveness of three major social security administrations. Here is the purely anecdotal comparison:

3. Germany with 4 months
2. Switzerland with 7 months – mail from Geneva
1. United States with a breathtaking 25 months!

Seriously, today I received the first response to a letter I sent to the US SSA on May 30, 2009. The only explanation I have is that they never got the letter and actually responded to later resends. If they only got the third attempt, they’ll have processed the request within two months, which won’t be too bad.